Orange Gearle

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

nsa wiretap reveals subject may be paying too much for long-distance


FORT MEADE, MD—The director of the National Security Agency announced at a press conference Tuesday that the ongoing phone surveillance of Cincinnati resident Greg Wyckham has yielded "overwhelming and incontrovertible" evidence that the 37-year-old high-school teacher and married father of three is wasting money on a long-distance plan that does not suit his calling needs.

According to Lt. Gen. Keith B. Alexander, Wyckham, who caught the attention of authorities in July 2004 when he placed a call to his first wife, has spent an average of $75 a month on long distance, "when he could have been saving as much as $30 per billing period."

**snip**

Added Alexander: "If Wyckham simply joined the Family Share Plan, he would not only save money himself, but also for his wife Shelly, Jeremy, the twins, Ashley and Courtney, and, if he were reasonably discreet, teacher's aide Janet Molina, with whom he's having an extramarital affair."


The rest of the priceless article from The Onion here. What would we do without The Onion?

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