parent wanted

God I wanted this kid.

Just over a year ago, this little guy walked into my classroom. He was shy, scared, angry, and adorable, among other things. He had the vocabulary of a sailor and did I mention he was angry? He is also an orphan. His name is Damarian.

He was put in my classroom, in a purposeful holding pattern. "The system" knew he wasn't ready for kindergarten, but they needed a place for him to go. So "the system" put him in my room, knowing he would repeat kindergarten. "The system", I suppose, is a whole different topic.

When I first met Damarian, he had already been a part of the system for some time. Who knows what he went through before that? His few short years must've been full of things that I don't even want to know about! They certainly weren't full of the experiences that little boys need....playing games, digging for nightcrawlers, fishing, going to the circus, etc. So, I decided that he needed to experience a few things.

We spent a lot of time with him outside of school. I took him to the mini-zoo in Cedar Rapids, we went to more than one park, we played games and shopped for fun toys. We went trick-or-treating together, carved pumpkins and watched movies. We took him with us to family functions, mine and The Soul Mate’s, and we celebrated all the holidays together. I seriously considered trying to adopt him. Had personal parts of my life been different (including, but not limited to, being married), I would’ve tried like hell to get him. I got as far as getting all of the info on fostering and adoption, I talked to former and current foster parents, and I even picked out (in my mind) how I would decorate his room…..trains, he loves trains.

After a lot of sleepless nights thinking and worrying and trying to make a decision, I decided that Damarian, like all kids, deserves a two parent household. I've raised (am raising) one by myself, and it's not easy....so it was selfishness (also) that lead me to that decision, I suppose. Someday, if I finally get my shit together, I will at least foster, though. My experiences as a teacher (and mother) have led me down that path. It will happen someday, just not for Damarian, no matter how much I love that little guy.

Why bring this up? Well, tonight he was on the news…..a story about kids that need foster homes/adoptive parents. I cried of course. He’s been in the system more than two years. Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Here’s a link to the news story. If I can find video of it, you know I will post it.

FWIW: In the news story he tells the reporter that his favorite color is ORANGE (and pink). I wonder where he got that idea??

There's something about the hands in this picture(above)....I love the hands. Look at the size difference. I love that. There's just something about people's hands...